There are universities that offer courses on nate. The texts have not been written yet.
i've been meaning to address 'my' course for a while now, and decided now is the time. since i've been in such a complete writing block and realizing slowly that yes, i've been purposely avoiding any sort of reveal in every word i say. now. to actually say something about myself would in necessity begin my course. like the first course of a meal, a small salad...
first step is acknowledging my conflicts - and subsequently, start with my ideas of presence vs. absence.
as i've been told this can be summed up in the look of my eye, whether i will engage the world, but... i think it might be more fundamental than a glance. instead, i feel a certain kinship to being simultaneously present and absent. for instance, many of the links i include on the sidebar, especially blogs, the use of comments never presents an option to me. instead, i go to a place like i love music, my only interest is to read, and not interact. i'm not sure how i would interact and makes every one of these little moments very strange. but i digest (gulp) and forget that i leave nothing in exchange. i'd rather know, anonymously, what people are willing to say and why. in return, they will not know about me, except for semi-prefunctory reviews on stylus and occasional (read: every 3 months or so) rambles on this here blog.
like a wonderful listener/observer, i reveal nothing and instead focus of decyphering others' words. words and words. and so, maybe i'm training for murch-dom. but i feel like i've always been in training.
but enough about me, because as such, i hate livejournals. most of the time.
reading for the day//
Rejoice! Believe! Be Strong and Read Hard! (thank you dorothy)
Keenan, Morley, Cool, Pop some interesting projections of noise-melody. might i say, that the fennesz remix of last exit would be my favorite recent example of this concept. billowing feedback, always grabbing me like a rollercoaster, bleeding tears from sheer speed.
a collage//
"i've been trying to revert to a child-like state. i refuse to tie my shoes. i'd say start drawing while picturing a head totally alien to it's body. that's awwe-some. the progress of the advertisement is toward the destruction of distance between the product and the person who might consume the product. i'm loving it. the absense of the end gives us the sense that all the information we receive is merely something predigested and rehashed, that everything was already there, that we are faced with a melodramatic mishmash of events, not knowing whether they really took place or not, whether they aren't substitutes for others..."
for the eyes//
zabriskie point. nick kilroy recently re-affirmed my faith in my interests, which is a rather large accomplishment. but, i still haven't written him. my apologies, seriously.
//
goddamned ladybugs. one of the unexpected new hates of my life since moving to chicago has be the discovery of ladybugs. to kill a ladybug is to acknowledge the act of killing. the repugent odo(u)r of such a beast lets it be known that you, a person between the sizes of 5 feet and 6 and a half feet will actually kill a creature so as to not be 'bugged.' they are bastardly and their dots remind me of periods, the ends of sentences that you should have never started. these usually come in the form of pick-up lines or romantic squabbles. and let us drop that digression as quickly as it was brought up.
i've been meaning to address 'my' course for a while now, and decided now is the time. since i've been in such a complete writing block and realizing slowly that yes, i've been purposely avoiding any sort of reveal in every word i say. now. to actually say something about myself would in necessity begin my course. like the first course of a meal, a small salad...
first step is acknowledging my conflicts - and subsequently, start with my ideas of presence vs. absence.
as i've been told this can be summed up in the look of my eye, whether i will engage the world, but... i think it might be more fundamental than a glance. instead, i feel a certain kinship to being simultaneously present and absent. for instance, many of the links i include on the sidebar, especially blogs, the use of comments never presents an option to me. instead, i go to a place like i love music, my only interest is to read, and not interact. i'm not sure how i would interact and makes every one of these little moments very strange. but i digest (gulp) and forget that i leave nothing in exchange. i'd rather know, anonymously, what people are willing to say and why. in return, they will not know about me, except for semi-prefunctory reviews on stylus and occasional (read: every 3 months or so) rambles on this here blog.
like a wonderful listener/observer, i reveal nothing and instead focus of decyphering others' words. words and words. and so, maybe i'm training for murch-dom. but i feel like i've always been in training.
but enough about me, because as such, i hate livejournals. most of the time.
reading for the day//
Rejoice! Believe! Be Strong and Read Hard! (thank you dorothy)
Keenan, Morley, Cool, Pop some interesting projections of noise-melody. might i say, that the fennesz remix of last exit would be my favorite recent example of this concept. billowing feedback, always grabbing me like a rollercoaster, bleeding tears from sheer speed.
a collage//
"i've been trying to revert to a child-like state. i refuse to tie my shoes. i'd say start drawing while picturing a head totally alien to it's body. that's awwe-some. the progress of the advertisement is toward the destruction of distance between the product and the person who might consume the product. i'm loving it. the absense of the end gives us the sense that all the information we receive is merely something predigested and rehashed, that everything was already there, that we are faced with a melodramatic mishmash of events, not knowing whether they really took place or not, whether they aren't substitutes for others..."
for the eyes//
zabriskie point. nick kilroy recently re-affirmed my faith in my interests, which is a rather large accomplishment. but, i still haven't written him. my apologies, seriously.
//
goddamned ladybugs. one of the unexpected new hates of my life since moving to chicago has be the discovery of ladybugs. to kill a ladybug is to acknowledge the act of killing. the repugent odo(u)r of such a beast lets it be known that you, a person between the sizes of 5 feet and 6 and a half feet will actually kill a creature so as to not be 'bugged.' they are bastardly and their dots remind me of periods, the ends of sentences that you should have never started. these usually come in the form of pick-up lines or romantic squabbles. and let us drop that digression as quickly as it was brought up.
posted by nate at 8:46 PM
2 Comments:
that's all you do, take take take and suck the life out of everything you come in contact with. kind of like the bloodthirsty ladybugs you desire to swat. Perhaps the vanilla brain you're carting around leaves you gasping and speechless when confronted with the hot digital blank which I have now filled.
"like a wonderful listener/observer, i reveal nothing and instead focus of decyphering others' words. words and words."
for sure. but i've always thought it was the absences of words, even absence of movements, that revealed what's most difficult to usher forth.
i was reading something recently, i think it was a novel, that spoke about how the world flocks to creative genius because that genius is that which expresses - and we are all, in our endeavors, hoping to express. it is the genius who has the gift to express what the rest of us cannot. your eyes express pounds. and it may easily be proven that those of us who walk in and out of your life glean as much from you as you do from us...you reveal much in the way you decipher, what you choose to decipher, and, poor nate, the way your eyes glaze as you do your deciphering.
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